Vifon Ostro-Kwaśna Zupa Błyskawiczna (Hot and Sour Instant Noodle Soup)

   

Hot and Sour Instant Noodle Soup. Very nice. The spicy sauce is really hard to squeeze out of the sachet, but well worth it. Made in Vietnam by Tan-Viet. Contains crustaceans and fish. You can see them wriggling around at the bottom. Hmmm. This is damn good stuff. Nicely warm and spicy - I have the sweats. Damn good firm and flavoursome noodles. This works for me. Damn good.

Vifon Instant Noodles

How to cook (and eat) instant noodles

Cup Noodles are great because you just pour on the water and eat. Packet noods are cheaper and have a much greater range. But they are fiddly to cook. And instruction vary. Now, here's the NoodleDelight method. The method you've always been looking for but never darked to ask.


Simples.



1) Save your favourite Pot Noodle cup - Bombay Bad Boy is good because it's all black

2) Before opening the packet, crush it in your hand so the noodles are broken up into chunks that'll fit into the Pot Noodle cup

3) Open the packet and rescue the powder sachet(s)

4) Put broken noodles into cup, sprinkle on the powder, pour on the boiling water

5) Stir

6) Wait - oh, all right then, start eating too soon when the noodles are still crunchy!

7) Enjoy with a can of Carlsberg Special Brew

8) Burp

9) Fart

10) And relax....

ASDA Chosen By You Beef Flavour Noodles

It's a leetle beet feelthy. But it's also a bit bland. The noodles are good and dirty. Doesn't say where they are made, but it's highly likely they are deep fried in some village deep in the heart of Asia. The powder supposedly includes ground up bull's arsehole, but there's so little flavour it's more likely the powder was simply left out overnight in a field where some cows once farted.

Cover it in chilli sauce and it'll be fine.

Score: 3/10  Date: Dec 2013


Bland. Needs salt. Noodles are OK as long as you pour on boiling water and cook them for at least a minute in the microwave. Contains beef. Made in China. Epic fail really.


Score: 2/10   Date:  Feb 2016

Beef flavoured

ASDA Noodles 

M Savers Curry Flavour Noodles

What's the point? I mean, really......


Made in China with arse fucked chickens who spewed up a curry vomit.

Tesco Everyday Value Chicken Flavour Instant Noodles

Made in China from dried chicken brains. These taste a little bit better than the regular Tesco Instant Noodles Chicken Flavour . Go figure.
Date: Dec 2013  Score: 2

Not much different to the Asda Chicken Flavour Noodles. Go figure.
Date: Feb 2014  Score: 2


The ingredients are almost exactly the same as the regular Tesco Chicken Noodles - just a slight difference in the amounts - this Everyday one has more chicken and less salt, for example. This Everyday one is 65g compared to the regular one 85g. The Everyday is 20p compared to 30p for the regular. But they end up tasting the same. Both very wishy washy. Pretty much crap. No flavour. No texture. Go figure.

Date: Aug 2014  Score: 1

Ingredient list. Everyday on the left; regular on the right

***

The best Chicken flavour instant noodles

Tesco noodles

Tesco Instant Noodles Chicken Flavour

Made in China with dried chicken powder. There's not a lot going on here. You can barely taste anything.

Date:  11 December 2013   Score:  Crap.


**********

Update.

Date: 5 February 2014   Score:  Still crap.


**********

Update 2.

Still crap. You have to put on so much salt or soy sauce in order to get flavour out of it. I don't know why I keep on buying it. Wishy washy pasta.

Date:  21 August 2014   Score: 1



All Tesco noods slurped (listed in order of noodle delight):

*Tesco Everyday Value Curry Flavour Instant Noodles (Made in China with powdered chicken)

*Tesco Everyday Value Chicken Flavour Instant Noodles (Made in China with powdered chicken)

*Tesco Everyday Value Chicken & Mushroom Flavour Noodles (Made in the UK)

*Shanghai Garden Instant Curry Flavour Noodles (Made in China with powdered chicken)

*Tesco Instant Noodles Chicken Flavour (Made in China with powdered chicken)

***

The best Chicken flavour instant noodles

Tesco noodles

Pot Noodle / King Pot Bombay Bad Boy

This has the same chilli sauce as the Pot Noodle Chilli Beef. If you put all the sauce in, it's hot. If you don't, it's not.

Anyway. A classic.

Film of a seven sachet suicide!  - I was sweating in sympathy.

The advert.

Date: Dec 2013    Score: 7/10

This is a good savoury snack. Gloopy in that British noods way, which is quite comforting. We do like our stodge. The hot sauce is quite hot. Not killing hot, but warmer than I like. I forgot again, and put in the whole sachet. I shall try to remember  in future. Half a sachet should do for me.

Date: Sept 2020   Score: 8

***

The best of the slags

Sawadee Instant Noodles Indian Curry Flavour

Filth.

The usual suspects: deep fried noodles (Malaysia), monosodium glutamate, soya, and spices. Some chilli would be nice, especially considering it's supposed to be a curry, but it works well enough as the usual vague, greasy, savoury nonsense.
December 2013

Lacks flavour, though is quite acceptable. Quite creamy. A little peanut butter. OK. Nothing like curry, though.
September 2014


TheRamenRater

Kohlico

Vifon Instant Noodles

Vifon are a brand of noods owned by the Polish/Vietnamese company Tan-Viet,  which was founded by Ngoc Tu Tao in 1990. The headquarters are in Gdańsk, while the nood factory is in Vietnam. Vifon website.

The main line is a range of fairly average instant noodles; these all have Polish names. Decent enough, cheap, and available at your nearest Polish corner shop. The company have recently introduced a more interesting range, under the brand name Vifon Hoang Gia. The names are in Vietnamese, though with (inaccurate and interesting) English translation. These are bigger, more expensive, and are fairly adventurous - moving away from the standard chicken or chicken flavours. My first experience hasn't been positive, as there is way too much meat for me, but I am intrigued enough to want to try the rest of the range.

Vifon Kurczak Pieczony

This is a classic nood. Greasy, savoury, good chilli nip, vague flavour, and firm noodles.

Vifon Ostro-Kwaśna Zupa Błyskawiczna

This is damn good stuff. Nicely warm and spicy - I have the sweats. Damn good firm and flavoursome noodles. This works for me. Damn good.

Vifon Kurczak Chinski 

A tasty little snack. Nothing here that will make you exclaim with delight, but for a cheap nood, this is damn good.

Vifon KurcZak Lagodny (Chicken) 

This is a filthy pig - so dirty it hasn't even wiped its trotters. Imagine all the grease at the bottom of the fryer in a deep fried chicken house. Turn that grease into powder and put it into a Vifon chicken flavoured nood.

Vifon Kurczak Curry

A regular dirty cow this one. Good greasy noodles with a hot and greasy chicken flavoured curry. Good burn in the mouth. Solid all round.

Vifon Tom Yum Krewetkowa Tajska

The spice is warming rather than hot. Creates a nice smudgy dish. Small, soft noodles - rather inclining to vermicelli.

Vifon Hoang Gia Bun Mang Gio Heo

Greasy, watery, and with a savoury artificial meat flavour. Bleurgh, really. And the noodles didn't do much for me - rather like eating sewing cotton.

Battle of the brands

Vifon Kurczak Pieczony (Roasted Chicken)

Deep fried Vietnam noodles, Monosodium glutamate, soya and chilli. Perfect!
This is a classic nood. Greasy, savoury, good chilli nip, vague flavour, and firm noodles.

****As of May 2014, this is the NoodleDelight top rated Vifon nood.****

Score:  8

Vifon Instant Noodles

The best Chicken flavour instant noodles

Sawadee Beef Casserole Flavour

Average deep fried Asian noods. Sort of wishy-washy beef flavour. You'll eat them, but you won't admire them or remember them.
Date: Dec 2013   Score: 2/10

Ate them again. They pass through the mouth. Not much to say. They're edible, but no more than that.
Date: Sept 2014  Score: 2/10

Beef flavoured

Kohlico

Naked Noodle Ramen Noodles in Sauce Teriyaki Flavour

 

Teriyaki cooking involves the use of soy sauce and honey, and those flavours are present in this ponsy box.

Date: Dec 2013  Score: 4

Symington's

Sawadee Instant Noodles Chicken Chow Mein Flavour

 

There's a little picture of a chicken on the bottom right of the packet, just for those who have never seen a chicken before. But this is pure MSG - not a dead chicken in sight. This is as filthy as it gets. Salty and greasy with good firm noodles. Mmmmm. The "chow mein" aspect of the flavour is curious, as that simply means fried noodles - the word being an English corruption of chao mian. But it does't matter, as rarely do noods actually taste like what they are supposed to!


Date: Dec 2013  Score: 6

Kohlico

The best Chicken flavour instant noodles

Best instant noodle chow mein