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Friday, 4 December 2020

Symington's Naked Curry Malaysian Style Long Grain Rice

 



This is a rather soggy nood. In fact, it isn't a real nood - it uses rice instead of noodles. I was conned! Bought quick and cheap in Lidl. I didn't pay attention. Rice doesn't work. It's worse than the rice noodles. I followed the instructions and got cold soggy rice. The flavourings are nice. But if the main ingredient is an epic fail, then the flavourings are not going to save it. And they didn't. Nice flavourings, shame about the rice. This is not a Rice Crispies blog, nor even Rice Soggies blog, this is a Noodles blog.  Bring on the noodles, and bring them right here! 


Date: Dec 2020   Score: 4

***





Friday, 18 September 2020

Lidl Newgate Express Speedy Noodle Spicy Curry Flavour (cup)

 

Everything about this looks cheap and nasty. In colour and appearance it's an attempt to cash in on the awesome Pot Noodle brand, but lacks the humour, the professionalism, and the slaggish class of Pot Noodle. The lid is thin and tore as I was trying to open it. You look inside at this miserable looking heap of dried noods with barely any powder. Just this small, insignificant dried lump of yellow huddled in a corner of the white cup. And where's the mango sauce? Well, that was hidden inside the noods. I poured on the water and stirred before I found it. And it was a joyless unmarked and uncolour plastic sachet. No cost saving unturned.  My hopes were not up. 


Then I started eating.  I'd had these nods before, and have reviewed them twice before under slightly different names: Vitasia Speedy Noodle Spicy Curry. And I remembered that they are way tastier than you expect them to be. It just works. Not too spicy. Not too sweet. A good balance. And they have that comfortable gooey sticky mouthfeel that is so typical of the best British noods. Asian style noods are either watery or dry. British noods are thick, moist, comforting. 

I like these noods. To be honest I'm not a huge fan of Lidl. I think their products can be good, but they can also be bland or overly sweet - simply going for the cheapest, easiest, most commercial product that is going to appeal to most people. They head downwards for the lowest common denominator. They are not looking to make distinctive, interesting, challenging, exciting food products. They just want products that are going to appeal to the most people. If what you want is the bland, slightly sweet, everyday familiarity, and are not interesting in trying something unusual, unique, interesting, with complex and fascinating flavours, then Lidl is your bag. And just sometimes, as with these noods, the familiar and the comforting is just what I want. 

Yes. This hits the spot. 



Date: Sept 2020   Score: 8 



Saturday, 1 August 2020

Pot Noodle Yerk Chicken




Warm and spicy and very filthy, this is a classic Pot Noodle. I could do this again.

Veggie.


Date: July 2020   Score: 6

***
The best (and worse) 
Chicken flavour instant noodles


The best of the Pot Noodle slags

Saturday, 18 July 2020

Pot Noodle Thai Green Curry




Part of the regular range, this is typical Pot Noodle noodles with a mild curry flavour sauce. Yes. OK.


Date: July 2020   Score: 5


The best of the Pot Noodle slags


Pot Noodle Asian Street Style Malaysian Laksa




There are four flavours in Pot Noodles Asian Street Style low calorie range.

As with the Thai Red Curry, the sauce is tasty if a bit watery, but the noods let it down. Use some proper fat wheat noodles and I'd be happier. If I had this again I would use less water.

Date: Lockdown July 2020   Score: 4


The best of the Pot Noodle slags

Tuesday, 14 July 2020

Pot Noodle Asian Street Style Thai Red Curry




Pot Noodles have a new range - Asian Street Style. The noods are made of rice, which is not my favourite. Rice noodles are too waxy and antiseptic tasting, and they take a long long while to get really soft the way I like my noodles. So the noodles I don't like. The flavouring, however, is OK. Mild curry, slightly Thai in character. A bit watery at first, so, unless you prefer weak watery noods, I'd recommend using less water than indicated. Once the noodles were eaten I enjoyed drinking the juice. Little bits of veg in there. Yeah. OK. But because of the rice noodles this isn't one I'll be rushing to buy again.


Date: Lockdown July 2020   Score: 4


The best of the Pot Noodle slags


Saturday, 7 March 2020

Tesco Hearty Food Spicy Curry Flavour Noodles




This is a very basic budget pot noodle. Cheap, but not good value. Very little flavour. Very little contents.


Date: March 2020   Score: 2
***

Tesco Logo.svg
Tesco noodles


Friday, 18 January 2019

Naked Noodle Egg Noodles Thai Sweet Chilli




Not that sweet and not that hot. It's an OK but forgettable nood. The noodles are very small and they merge with the rest of the ingredients. It's OK, but I prefer my noodles a bit bigger. There could be a bit more yum factor. I got these at half price in Tesco - I wouldn't pay full price for them.



Date: Jan 2019   Score: 4 



  




I'd prefer bigger, longer noodles, but on the whole this is a tasty little nood. There's some spice and heat, but not too much, and there is a pleasant sweet tomato flavour to contrast and cool the spice. Yeah, flavours are good. it's the noods that let it down. 


Date: March 2022   Score: 6 


***




Friday, 14 September 2018

Ilumi Sweet Chilli Rice Noodles





I have been a bit uncertain about rice noods in the past because they can be a bit bland and chewy, but if left long enough they are fine. On the whole, given the choice, I would always go for a wheat nood than a rice nood, but, clearly, if someone has an issue with eating wheat then these gluten free noods are a decent alternative. Just remember to leave them long enough to soften. And keep the lid on so the noods say warm!

The sauce is good. There's a bit of heat, but mostly it is a savoury sweet sauce, quite tomato based, and really quite edible. Nice one.



Date: Set 2018    Score: 7






Wednesday, 18 July 2018

MAMA Tom Saab (Hot & Spicy) Flavour




I like the noodles in this - they absorbed the water very well, and are quite chewy and tasty with a wheaty flavour. The flavour of the sauce though is quite strong and artificial - rather overwhelming. It has some spice, but not too much as we didn't add the extra chilli powder.  We ate this with spring onion, raw mushroom and a boiled egg chopped into it. It made an OK lunch, though the chemical/artificial flavour was not that great, and we won't be knowingly eating this one again.

Score: 2


Yum Yum Kimchi Flavour




Made by the Wan Thai Foods company in Thailand this is a very tasty noods snack. The noodles didn't fully absorb the water, so remained a little firm, with some liquid. This is more to the Asian taste than the British, however, the overall taste and mouthfeel is very good. The flavour is sort of onion and soy sauce - mildly savoury and gentle. We ate this with spring onions, raw mushrooms and boiled egg chopped in. It makes a satisfying and tasty lunch.


Score: 7




Wednesday, 16 May 2018

Ilumi Singapore Style Rice Noodles




I like these rice noodles, and I like the sauce. I didn't use as much water on this one, stopping well before the line to make a thicker more British style sauce, and I liked that. This is a decent savoury sauce. I am tempted to get more of these, but in our house we are feeling increasingly uncomfortable by the amount of plastic we buy, so we prefer not to buy throwaway plastic containers.

So - nice noods, shame about the container.


Score: 7



Wednesday, 9 May 2018

Ilumi Tom Yum Rice Noodles




I picked up a bunch of Ilumi rice noodles from Tesco. This is the second one we've tried, and I like this. Good lemony flavours. Bright and citric.

I'm not a fan of rice noodles, but these work well, and the flavouring is fresh, and feels natural.

If it wasn't for the plastic, I might be tempted to buy more of these Tom Yum.


Score: 6





Ilumi Vietnamese Style Beef Pho Rice Noodles




I picked up a bunch of Ilumi noodles at Tesco as they are doing a deal. I was a bit reluctant as I'm getting fed up of the amount of one-off plastic we buy, but my curiosity at trying a new noods company got the better of me. 

I'm not a fan of rice noodles, but - to be fair - these were quite acceptable. Made up as directed, this is a little watery in the Asian style (Europeans like their noods to be a bit dryer and stodgy), and we wondered if we'd need spoons, but by the end there was actually very little juice left, and we simply drank that out of the cups. This is not an exciting flavour - it's mostly onion with a bit of Marmite. I was saddened to read that they used real beef extract. Why? There is no beef flavour here at all. It seems pointless and cruel to include beef extract for the sake of it. There's bits of dried veg, which work at adding a bit of texture and interest. And there's chilli (of course). It;s not too hot, so just gives a spicy warmth to the onion and Marmite water.

We thought this was quite acceptable.


Date: May 2018   Score: 5

Beef flavoured


Saturday, 28 April 2018

Nissin Demae Ramen Spicy






Yeah, its spicy, and that's about it  really. Unimaginative packet of noods from the normally excellent Nissin. It's edible, and has savoury bits, and is spicy hot without burning, but there's not a lot going on to catch or hold your attention.


Score: 5





Saturday, 20 January 2018

Lidl Vitasia Stir Fry Noodles Sweet & Sour




Though Lidl seem to have changed the name of their instant noodles from Vitasia to Newgate, these "straight to wok" dried noodles still use the Vitasia name.

This is not a regular instant nood, as you have to pour on hot water, then stir fry. Not the first time I've had instant noods with those instructions. It's a little fussy to cook, so is barely instant, but at the end it is a rather decent product. Chewy and pleasant noodles, and an attractive sauce. We popped some tinned mackerel in tomato sauce on top of ours, which made for a pleasant lunch.  OK - but a bit fiddly to make.


Score: 4


Friday, 5 January 2018

Mug Shot Sensations Mediterranean Pasta / Moroccan Cous Cous





We tried these two little beauts. The Moroccan Cous Cous is, of course, not a noodle dish, but it's in the Mug Shot range, which is essentially the same thing - an instant dish in a pot.

The Mediterranean Pasta sucked big time. The pasta was dull, and the sauce was insipid and dull. The little crunchy things in the plastic at the top were intended to brighten it up, but the crunchy bits soon became soggy and just made it a bloody ugly mess.  Never again!

Score: 1

The Cous Cous was quite tasty, but the seeds didn't work well. We quite enjoyed it, but would have preferred it without the seeds.

Score: 4


Symington's

Sunday, 3 December 2017

Bachelors Super Noodles Bacon Flavour (cup)



Bland stodgy noodles and a sauce that tastes of bacon flavour crisps. It's edible, but it's pretty low down on the food chain.


Date: Dec 2017  Score: 3



Eet ees filthee! Bland noodles, and an artificial chemical tasting bacon. And it makes you burp up the chemical flavour for months afterwards. And your farts smell of dead pig. And your nose flattens like that of a pig. And you start masturbating in cupboards and grunting like a pig. You become a freaking streak of pig, and you go rut in the garden and make it all muddy and smelly.  Seriously, is it worth it?

Date: Lockdown April, 2020   Score: 4



Tuesday, 7 November 2017

Batchelors Super Noodles Chicken flavour (cup)





The advantage of the cups over the packets is that the cups are easier to make, and you don't have to look for a bowl to put them in (or wash up afterwards). Otherwise this is pretty much the same as the packet. It's edible, if a little bland. Taste is OK, though.


Date: Nov 2017   Score: 3


***

Super Noodles are crap


The best (and worse) 
Chicken flavour instant noodles



Thursday, 26 October 2017

Batchelors Pasta 'n' Sauce Cheese & Pancetta








There's no actual pancetta or bacon in here, but there is some smoke flavouring to give that impression. It's OK. Pasta takes a little longer than they suggest to soften up, so there's a bit of crunching while you eat. And though I stopped exactly at the fill line as indicated (which is hard to do as a foam rises), the result is a little watery. It's OK, though. Use a little less water, and leave for a little longer, and it should come out edible. The flavour I liked. It's the rest of it that wasn't quite successful. I might try again.


Score: 4





Monday, 23 October 2017

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese




Everyone is getting in on the instant macaroni cheese fad. At least Kraft don't call it Mac & Cheese, but they do put an "&" in there, which is not British. I suppose we'll be soon getting spaghetti & bolognese.

Ah, I was doing some research, and this is not a British product anyway, it's a classic American product called Kraft Dinner, which has been around since 1937.

Anyway, this is like a tinned macaroni cheese, except it's in a plastic pot and can be heated up quite quickly in the microwave. Doesn't take long, and you get a product which is like a cheap tinned macaroni cheese.

It's OK, but I won't be buying another one. Well, probably not......


Score: 5




Sunday, 22 October 2017

Batchelors Super Noodles BBQ Beef (cup)






It has a wonderful feelthy aroma - pure student bedsit. And you get your fork ready for a moment of pure nood porn. But,  blah, the "sauce" is actually quite wimpy and watery. Really little flavour. I poured on salt in the vain attempt to bring out the flavour. Nope. Grim sauce, and flaccid noodles. Best skip over this one in the aisle and get something either a little more upmarket or genuinely feelthy. 


Date: Sept 2021   Score: 2 





Ingredients
Noodles (80%) (Wheat Flour, Palm Oil, Potato Starch, Acidity Regulators (Potassium Lactate, Citric Acid), Salt, Flavour Enhancer (Monosodium Glutamate), Colour (Carotenes), Antioxidant (Tocopherol-Rich Extract), Stabiliser (Potassium Carbonate), Flour Treatment Agent (Sodium Carbonate)), Maltodextrin, Wheat Flour, Maize Starch, Flavourings (contain Milk), Dried Peas (1%), Yeast Extract, Dried Carrot (0.5%), Flavour Enhancers (Monosodium Glutamate, Disodium 5'-ribonucleotides), Onion Powder, Milk Mineral Concentrate, Salt, Colours (Plain Caramel, Paprika Extract), Thickener (Guar Gum), Thyme Extract, Acid (Citric Acid), Black Pepper Extract, Sugar, Parsley, Smoke Flavourings


The noodles are bland. The flavouring is like marmite flavoured water. This is really not a great experience. C'mon Super Noodles, pull your fingers out, and show us what you can do, rather than continue to sell crap. 

Date: Jan 2020  Score: 3 





This is the cup version of Super Noodles BBQ Beef.  It's OK, but as with the packet the noodles are mushy, and the flavouring is mostly onion. Not quite crap, and a tad better than the packet, but this is little more than edible. You can eat this, but it's not a huge enjoyment. I had expected more because the curry pot is really quite yummy.


Date: Oct 2017  Score: 4


Super Noodles are crap

Beef flavoured

Batchelors Super Noodles Curry Flavour (cup)




So Batchelors have decided to take on Pot Noodle face to face by coming out with a cup range of their Super Noodles.

I have always rather liked the Super Noodles Curry Flavour - I think it was the first of the Super Noodles to change my attitude toward them (previously I had thought all Super Noodles were crap because there was always a lot of noodle, but not much flavour). It works very well in the cup, and the recipe seems to have got even better with hints of lime and fennel.  This is a mild and flavoursome curry, and the noodles are soft. Easy to eat and very tasty in a proper British sludgy style.

I like this a lot.

Date: Oct 2017   Score: 8




Not so enthusiastic as I was three years ago.  This is a fairly bland nood. Typical flavourless Super Noodles, but in a cup, and a smaller portion than the packets. It's edible, but it's not interesting. And it's a long way from the filthy delight of a Pot Noodle.


Date: Aug 2020  Score: 4

***

Super Noodles



Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Batchelors Pasta 'n' Sauce Mac 'n' Cheese





Tinned macaroni cheese works for me, this doesn't. It's like the Pot Noodle Mac & Cheese - it doesn't feel right, and it takes a while for the pasta to soften. The tinned stuff is edible right away, and tastes creamier and cheesier.


Score: 3









Monday, 25 September 2017

The Food Doctor Thai Style Noodle Wholesome Pot




The Food Doctor is a new company to me, though they have been around since 1999. They had a relaunch this year (2017), and have placed a range of products in a variety of outlets. I can't recall where I got this pot, nor how much it cost, but I suspect I bought it at Tesco for rather more than I normally pay. Looking on the internet, it seems that it's no longer available in Tesco, but can still be bought at Waitrose for £1.10. It is a tasty nood, with lime and coriander flavours in a creamy sweet coconut milk sauce. The noodles are a little small for my licking, but it is a very decent product. I'm not convinced by the product image or name (rather dull and off-putting). While food is about health and nutrition, it's also about tasting good, and having fun. And I'm not clear on why this pot of noodles is any healthier than any other pot of instant noodles. I don't think the price is outrageous for a tasty snack - it isn't much more than a Pot Noodle for example, but I get more fun out of a Pot Noodle than this, and when put next to serious nood makers such as Nissin, this pot feels a little lacklustre. However, decent job all in all.


Score: 7



Friday, 15 September 2017

Blue Dragon Noodle Wok Spicy Thai






Quite aggressive chilli. Few other flavours come through. Dried veg. Little in the way of noodles. Crap.


Score: 1